Roast Beef.

Reading my previous post. Buzzed blogging like drunk dialing, never a good idea. It reads like one of those old guys at the bar. "Let me tell you somethin' kid". At that point you have to figure out a way to politely excuse yourself. If you're lucky it's your turn on the pool table, maybe you can say you have to go to the bathroom or get your cigarettes that you left in the truck. Anyway, my apologies to all who had to endure the rambling nonsense. I'm not taking back what I said, I just could have said it better without the six pack of Coors under my belt.

So last night I catch the last half hour of a charity fundraiser show on Comedy Central, raising money for Autistic children, education. I saw John Stewart, the host, he asked people to pledge large sums of money. He said they wanted to raise half a million dollars in two minutes, money for a center at some college to train teachers on how to work with Autistic kids. He starts out the process by pledging fifty thousand dollars himself. A few people stood up in the audience and pledged fifty thousand also. Fifty thousand dollars, that's a lot of money. More people stood up and pledged twenty-five, then more pledged ten thousand. Finally, when they got to the one thousand dollar pledges a whole bunch of people stood up. I saw this one kid, probably twenty something, this kid stands up to pledge one thousand dollars. I thought about what I had written the night before, feel like a real jerk at this point.

I don't know who any of these people are, these good people who stood up in the audience and gave their hard earned money to help others. Like I said, feelin' like a jerk. So many people from all walks of life, from all over the economic spectrum, so many people give of themselves. So many people give their time and money, they do so quietly because it's the right thing to do. I blogged on Saturday night, I bragged about giving a stranger some gas money. I never should have said that, I never should have shared that. It's not right to do something right only to brag about it later. Still Feelin' like a jerk.

Yeah, I'm eatin' roast beef and drinkin' cold Coors beer. Washin' dishes in my dishwasher in the house that we own, well us and the bank but you know what I mean. I'm hangin' out with my healthy kids while others are facing real challenges, like Autism and a host of other afflictions. I'm bitchin' while our daughter's boyfriend worries about his father in the hospital suffering from multiple traumatic injuries, including a serious head wound. I've got nothin' to bitch about, I'm afraid I still will....... Bitch that is.

When I was a kid working construction, this old guy named Charlie said a little poem at lunch one day. We were all bitchin' about the heat, Charlie was just quietly sipping his ice tea and smoking a cigarette.

"As a rule man's a fool.......When it's hot he wants it cool.......When it's cool he wants it hot......
Always wanting what is not."

Well that's me. I'm the fool who can't see the forest for the trees. Still feelin' like a jerk.

Yeah Tommy I know......We go through this all the time. Guess I'm gettin' soft in my middle age bro. Hey, my anti-spyware program just automatically deleted a cookie!........I am not tryin' to change the subject, the thing just popped up on the screen and told me........Yeah I know........I know Tommy........I said I know, what the hell do you want me to do about it? I said I was sorry........Yeah, I could do that.... Alright man, I'll do it........Yeah I remember Panama City......No it was not like that episode from M*A*S*H, that was chocolate........Yeah it's the same idea.....Hey bro you gotta shut up now, you're makin' me talk about it......Well you're the one who said if we ever talk about it then it's no good.......Cool, I gotta go anyway. Have to put some dishes in the dishwasher and catch the weather report on the satellite TV before I drive over to the school in the Jeep and pick up my beautiful daughter, the older one gets a ride home from her girlfriend every day.......Yeah, life's a bitch man.