Friday, August 10, 2007

Oldies And Beer.

Yeah, so I deleted the previous post. It was stupid. I promised myself that I wouldn't let this blog get political and that recently deleted previous post is why. I apologize to anyone I may have offended. It doesn't matter why. That old saying, politics and religion? It's an old saying for a reason. The truth is this. Were I still in service I would be relishing the moment. It's not pleasant but it's true.

Hey Tommy, you know what I'm talkin' about, right?

So my wife found a lump just above her left breast. We went to the doctor's office yesterday. She got home from work around 0820 and took a shower. She detected a second lump in her left breast while in the shower. She was seen by a Nurse Practitioner who expressed some concern. Today we went for a chest x-ray. A mammogram and ultrasound will follow. I can't handle this.......

I hung four pieces of vinyl lattice up on the patio this afternoon, something we've wanted to do for some time. It helps obstruct the view from the alley to the patio and our back door. It provides a modicum of privacy for us, when we want to hang out on the patio that is.

So she's sleeping and I'm finished hanging lattice. I did the dishes and got the house squared away. The older baby girl was working until nine o'clock. The Boyfriend picked her up from work so they could go out. The younger baby girl is reading Harry Potter up in her room. I down two cans of Coors, the yellow cans, not that light crap. I hit the shower and down two more cans of beer. I'm looking at the lattice and I like it. The radio is tuned to the oldies station. I just want to be honest here. So I'm crying.

"Anything you want, you got it.......Anything at all, you got it...........Baby".

Hard to imagine those traveling guys on the oldies station, but..........Focus, is all I can try to do.............Focus.............And it ain't working..............

I can't help but think that she's paying for what I've done in the past. It sounds like bullshit but it's true. Sorry about the language, I just hate that word, cliche. Too often, when you read something, it's all polished and perfect. This is four beers getting sent out into cyberspace. This is the truth........I want to give her anything she wants, I just can't.....We don't even know what the hell it is yet.....

"......getting lost in her lovin' is the first mistake......"

This all sounded so good when I was sitting out on the patio downing Coors and listening to the oldies station.....It would have been easier had I kept living the way I lived before I met her.....

We haven't told the girls anything yet. Nothing to tell.....I took them swimming this afternoon.




2 Comments:

Blogger Alexys Fairfield said...

Squarehead,
My best wishes to you and your family at this time. Hopefully it's nothing too serious that can't be recitified. You and your wife will be in my prayers. May the blessings be.
Take care my friend.

4:29 PM  
Blogger Squarehead said...

Thank you Alexys. Yeah, it could be anything. WEB MD says there are so many conditions that can cause that, most of them not cancer. We remain positive. The chest x-ray results are good. Don't know how they can tell but they called and said they do not detect anything wrong. We don't know what that means but we'll find out soon enough I guess. I guess the lumps, and both are prominent and hard, look different on an x-ray depending on what they are

8:57 AM  

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