Saturday. Blue. One.
So I'm home alone. My wife and the younger baby girl are over in Jersey visiting family. The older baby girl stayed here, she has to work all weekend at the store. I saw her last night when she came in. I saw her for a little bit this morning before she went to work. She just left with her boyfriend.
The sky just lit up. The house just shook. BOOM, POP, BOOMBOOMPOPBOOM...........Heart races for a second.......... I remember now..........They shoot off fireworks here, the Saturday after Thanksgiving they shoot off fireworks down in the park.
Last week I bought a pay-as-you-go type cell phone, a TracFone. I wanted my wife to have it with her for the drive to Jersey, just in case. I set it all up. I activated the phone on the TracFone website, I added the airtime minutes and charged the battery. So on Thanksgiving I had to go to the store for some last minute grocery type stuff. I'm standing by the spice display rack looking for ground cinnamon and I hear this ringing sound. I'm thinking to myself, do they have some kind of spice rack display alarm here? Then I'm thinking, no, that makes no sense. I'm thinking maybe that ringing sound is part of the song that's being piped in over the store's sound system. I'm thinking about how bad that is, and who would add a phone ringing to a pop song. I'm thinking about how I just don't get it, all this new music. I'm thinking about how much better the world would be if The Alllman Brothers were still on the top forty charts.........That's when I realized that it's my pocket that's ringing. I brought the TracFone to the store with me in case my wife thought of something else she needed while I was there.
So I'm fumbling with the phone, flipping it open, saying "hello" repeatedly. I'm thinking she must have hung up so I'm dialing the house, not realizing that she's still on the line listening to the beeps as I attempt to call her back. She hangs up. I hang up. I call her again and she answers, we laugh at my lack of technical knowledge. I'm so damn analog.
We had Thanksgiving dinner. It was the best, like always. Friday morning came and they left, eastbound for Jersey. It's only been a day and I miss them so much.
There was a time in my life when I cherished solitude. There was a time when I embraced loneliness. That was all before the whirlwind of crazy in love ripped open the doors bringing light and laughter into my solitude........ Loneliness can't stand up to that. The day I met her was the day I truly began to live. The baby girls multiply that by numbers so high you can't count them.
I don't want to dwell. I just can't get away from it. She has breast cancer. Early stages, treatable yes, but still it's cancer.
My gut takes a turn all on it's own.
I'm so damn scared. I stumble, I fumble. It's always there. I'm so damn scared.
Her favorite song is Silent Lucidity.
When we first met she laughed because I went to the 7-11 to buy groceries.
She wears Poison. She sprays it in front of her then walks through it.
When we first met I used to eat at my friend's tavern every Thursday. That was meatloaf day.
She loves Christmas.
Before we met, pizza and a Star-Trek marathon made for a perfect Saturday night.
She thinks Jack Black is hot.
Long rides on my old Harley. Bars I'd never been to before. No one to laugh with.
When she says she loves me she means it. My heart soars when she says she loves me.
I don't want to go back there. I want to know for sure. I want to know that she's going to beat this cancer. This world is a much better place because she's here. Our baby girls are who they are because she's here.
Hey Tommy. Something tells me that you know what I'm talking about. Something tells me that you know the truth. Something tells me that you ain't planning on sharing the truth with me. Would it break the rules if you did? Would you get in trouble?......Maybe it's just not done. Maybe it's never been done........Hey Tommy, I've never really asked you for anything, and forget about that fifty bucks. I've never asked you for anything so real.......Can you let me know?
Hey Tommy. Guess who just called? That's right bro. I feel better already. She needed a recipe, I read it to her from her recipe card file thing. Guess she's cooking for her father and her brothers and her sister. Sounds like they're having a real good time. She told me to call her back in like forty-five minutes......The last thing she said to me was, "I love you".
SOARING!
The sky just lit up. The house just shook. BOOM, POP, BOOMBOOMPOPBOOM...........Heart races for a second.......... I remember now..........They shoot off fireworks here, the Saturday after Thanksgiving they shoot off fireworks down in the park.
Last week I bought a pay-as-you-go type cell phone, a TracFone. I wanted my wife to have it with her for the drive to Jersey, just in case. I set it all up. I activated the phone on the TracFone website, I added the airtime minutes and charged the battery. So on Thanksgiving I had to go to the store for some last minute grocery type stuff. I'm standing by the spice display rack looking for ground cinnamon and I hear this ringing sound. I'm thinking to myself, do they have some kind of spice rack display alarm here? Then I'm thinking, no, that makes no sense. I'm thinking maybe that ringing sound is part of the song that's being piped in over the store's sound system. I'm thinking about how bad that is, and who would add a phone ringing to a pop song. I'm thinking about how I just don't get it, all this new music. I'm thinking about how much better the world would be if The Alllman Brothers were still on the top forty charts.........That's when I realized that it's my pocket that's ringing. I brought the TracFone to the store with me in case my wife thought of something else she needed while I was there.
So I'm fumbling with the phone, flipping it open, saying "hello" repeatedly. I'm thinking she must have hung up so I'm dialing the house, not realizing that she's still on the line listening to the beeps as I attempt to call her back. She hangs up. I hang up. I call her again and she answers, we laugh at my lack of technical knowledge. I'm so damn analog.
We had Thanksgiving dinner. It was the best, like always. Friday morning came and they left, eastbound for Jersey. It's only been a day and I miss them so much.
There was a time in my life when I cherished solitude. There was a time when I embraced loneliness. That was all before the whirlwind of crazy in love ripped open the doors bringing light and laughter into my solitude........ Loneliness can't stand up to that. The day I met her was the day I truly began to live. The baby girls multiply that by numbers so high you can't count them.
I don't want to dwell. I just can't get away from it. She has breast cancer. Early stages, treatable yes, but still it's cancer.
My gut takes a turn all on it's own.
I'm so damn scared. I stumble, I fumble. It's always there. I'm so damn scared.
Her favorite song is Silent Lucidity.
When we first met she laughed because I went to the 7-11 to buy groceries.
She wears Poison. She sprays it in front of her then walks through it.
When we first met I used to eat at my friend's tavern every Thursday. That was meatloaf day.
She loves Christmas.
Before we met, pizza and a Star-Trek marathon made for a perfect Saturday night.
She thinks Jack Black is hot.
Long rides on my old Harley. Bars I'd never been to before. No one to laugh with.
When she says she loves me she means it. My heart soars when she says she loves me.
I don't want to go back there. I want to know for sure. I want to know that she's going to beat this cancer. This world is a much better place because she's here. Our baby girls are who they are because she's here.
Hey Tommy. Something tells me that you know what I'm talking about. Something tells me that you know the truth. Something tells me that you ain't planning on sharing the truth with me. Would it break the rules if you did? Would you get in trouble?......Maybe it's just not done. Maybe it's never been done........Hey Tommy, I've never really asked you for anything, and forget about that fifty bucks. I've never asked you for anything so real.......Can you let me know?
Hey Tommy. Guess who just called? That's right bro. I feel better already. She needed a recipe, I read it to her from her recipe card file thing. Guess she's cooking for her father and her brothers and her sister. Sounds like they're having a real good time. She told me to call her back in like forty-five minutes......The last thing she said to me was, "I love you".
SOARING!
posted by Squarehead at 7:04 PM
2 Comments:
Oh, to be loved like that. If she KNOWS you love her like that, I think she's got this thing beat.
Hey Okay, I think she knows. I hope she does. I'll have to make sure, but I think she knows.
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