Drifting.

Away.

14DEC07 1350 hrs.

With all that's going on, with cancer in the house, I detach. I find myself, at times, farther away from where I should be. I know it's not my thing. I tell myself that it's not my thing, every day.

I look at her face, sometimes I don't hear a word she's saying. I know that happens, but this is different. It's hard to explain. How can you describe something that you don't understand?

That picture was taken in 1978. I was 16. It's me and one of my bikes. It reminds me of those Star Trek scenes where they can't get the transporter to work. Kind of how I feel sometimes lately.

I'm going to stop for now. I'm going to come back to this later. All I have to do is click the blue in color box at the bottom of this screen. The box that reads "SAVE NOW". The box will actually appear to click in, like a real button on a tape recorder or something. It's all fake. It's not a real button. It's barely two dimensional and it exists only in this cyberspace. Were it real, were this computer thing as powerful as we'd all like to believe then I could click "SAVE NOW" and it would. It would save her. It would save her from this cancer. It would save her from the surgeon's life, body, and soul altering scalpel.

To the left of the blue in color "SAVE NOW" button is an orange in color button that reads "PUBLISH POST". I think I'll click that one. I'm not even going to click the spell check button first. Forget about all of it.