Trees, Christmas, Four.

So we went to the nursery on Saturday and got a nine foot tree. It was a little better than nine foot I think. We have nine foot eight inches from the base of the tree stand to the ceiling. We only trimmed a little bit off the top after the tree was in place. It's a nice big fat tree. The lights went on yesterday. Nine hundred little white lights. The gold in color plastic pearl looking beads were draped around it. The big red velvety bow with the four long velvety red ribbons that hang down, sectioning the tree into quarters was hung at the very top. All of the smaller red velvety bows were strategically placed about the tree.

We talked about her cancer on Saturday.

The older baby girl worked 'til nine last night. The boyfriend picked her up and they came here. The younger baby girl, the older baby girl and her boyfriend, and of course my wife proceeded to hang all the ornaments. The Elvis Christmas CD was playing. All the Christmas CD's were playing. I was assembling one of the three artificial trees that will also be displayed throughout the house. Like I was saying, my wife loves Christmas.

I wanted to cry.

So all of the other decorations are up as well. Most of them anyway. The dining room looks great. The garland and lights adorning the drapes, all that good stuff. Ten large plastic bins came down from the attic. Six of them are back upstairs, empty. The rest will be addressed throughout the work week.

She went to work last night, like always on Sunday night. Midnight to eight. I did cry after she left. My daughter wanted to help clear the table, do some dishes. I told her no. I told her I got it. I didn't want her to see me cry.

I just took a break. Coffee and a cigarette. This guy on the radio says that my liver is working overtime this holiday season. He wants me to buy a liver product I guess. Some kind of supplement. How bizarre. Don't forget your liver this Christmas.

So I pretty much cried myself to sleep last night. Like a sniveling baby. I guess it had to be done. I'm so glad she didn't see that. Like I've been told, it's not about me. I can't have her seeing that. We had such a good weekend together. We accomplished so much. On Saturday I went and rented the carpet cleaning machine. She likes to steam the carpets and rugs before we decorate. It's a tradition. I returned it on Sunday. I was listening to the Allman Brothers on my way back to the store. I listened to that song "Wasted Words". I listened to "Trouble No More".

We talked about her cancer again on Sunday.

I know this is all out of order. Chronologically speaking and all. I guess that's what happens. I cleaned The Love Bird's cage on Saturday, while my wife did almost everything else.

Last night, when my wife was leaving for work, I walked her out to the Jeep like I always do on Sunday nights. I had the Jeep running. It was nice and warm for her. She had been saying earlier how she just doesn't feel good. When she got in the Jeep she gave me her winning smile. She told me how she had a really good weekend. She gave me a sweet little kiss. The sweetest kind of kiss. She told me that she loves me with that kiss.

Now I'm wanting to cry again. Now I'm thinking too much. Now I have to go.