"Cover me......"

Yeah so it's been like five or six days since I wrote anything at all. Been kind of busy. Like I was sayin' on Friday, we had off for Thanksgiving, had to work on Friday. We had a three day weekend, Monday off for opening day. Here in Pennsylvania opening day is Opening Day. It's like a holiday, schools closed and everything. Opening Day, rifle season, buck season, deer season is here. Bow season starts in October, rifle season is the big one. Everyone goes to camp.

I am not a hunter. I am not opposed to hunting, it's just not something that I grew up doing. Hunting is an unfortunate but necessary variable in the equation that is wildlife management. Last year I was invited "out to camp". I felt good about that. This guy I work with, his family owns over six-hundred acres of Western Pennsylvania woods. It's pretty remote. It's pretty high up in the hills too. It's wild and quiet. A few other camps surround the place, when you add it all up it totals almost one-thousand acres hunted by less than twenty guys. So last year I went, got my permit, borrowed a Remington .270 and bought an orange vest. It was nice, being out in the woods like that alone. The air was crisp, you only heard the wind. I knew I would never shoot a deer, kept that to myself. I have the skills, actually I'm a pretty good shot. I won some competitions back in the day. I was a certified Police Academy Firearms Instructor in my native New Jersey. My military training and experience was rather extensive. I first learned how to shoot when I was nine years old, in Canada, at the home of relatives. The guy who showed me, he said I was a natural. I'm not bragging, I'm just saying that if wanted to shoot a deer I could, as long I saw one that is. I find myself rooting for the deer.

So this year I went to camp, I didn't hunt. The guys were all cool with that, most of them don't care about shooting deer as much as they enjoy the time away with friends. So it was a lot warmer this year, we sat around the fire drinking beer, eating deep fried turkey and baked ham. Two of the brothers who own this place, brothers of the guy I work with, they both play guitar. We are all about the same age, we all came of age in the seventies. We all have similar taste in music. They were all glad I showed up again this year. I have become known amongst the group as the guy who remembers most of the lyrics. These two guys who play guitar, they both play really well. They both played in bar bands way back when. They know a lot of songs.

So maybe there was twelve guys sitting around the fire. Most of us between the ages of thirty-five and forty-five. A couple of young guys, late teens early twenties, next generation. There were two guys in their seventies, they knew all the words to that Marty Robbins song "Old El Paso". We did lots of Floyd. This one guy, he's a cop in Pittsburgh, he saw Floyd at Three River Stadium in 1975. We did lots of Johnny Cash, surprising how the young guys all knew the words. Of course us being us, we did lots of Skynyrd, Marshall Tucker and the Rolling Stones. Dylan popped up a few times too. Neil Young, we did more Neil Young than anything else. One of the young guys, he's getting ready to leave for Basic Training and A.I.T., he got real quiet when we did "Powder Finger". The guys on guitar, both this kid's uncles, they noticed it too. It was kind of sad in a way, he's the next generation. His father is the guy I work with.

Oh yeah, can't forget The Allman Brothers. Yeah, they were there with us around the fire under all those stars. Yeah, it was cool. All singing out of tune. Sometimes it almost sounded like harmony, by accident. Yeah, looking forward to next year already. This one young guy, he's the brother of the guy who's leaving for Basic Training soon. He said the best part about it all is that it's only once a year. I feel really honored to be included in on this tradition. I didn't say that but I did say thanks to the brothers for inviting me. They knew what I meant.

"....with the thought that pulled the trigger"

Tommy............... Yeah I knew you were there...........It is pretty out there.

Hey, Thanks A Lot.

Thanksgiving was good. Have to go back to work today, then I get a three day weekend. I'll be off 'til Tuesday. Hey, wasn't that a band in the eighties? Til Tuesday? I don't know, it was something with Tuesday.

Yeah so we stuffed yesterday. She made her world famous sweet potato and apple baked dish. She made Stuffin' Muffins too. After we ate, we hit the couch with the clicker and popped in a DVD. Napoleon Dynamite, we love that movie. We all fell asleep at one point or another, turkey bein' turkey. Triptofan the light fantastic, then we turned some cartwheels 'cross the floor. I woke up first and was able to get all of the dishes done before she woke up. She was happy about that.

In the morning we all watched the Macy's Parade on TV. Well, our younger daughter watched the whole thing, the rest of us saw some of it as we went about our day. Have to take advantage of the day off and get some things done, you know?

So everything that I'm truly thankful for is right here in this drafty old house. Some other things I'm thankful for I keep to myself. I am thankful for all of you who take the time to read my blog. It's a good thing. Thank you all, I really mean it. So many good people on this little planet, this internet thing makes this little planet even smaller. Maybe someday we will all know each other. Maybe someday we will all be less inclined to want to hurt each other. Wouldn't that be something?

Tommy? Where you at bro?........Yeah, turkey will do that to you. Sometimes you have to sleep in a little . It's good for you.......Yeah okay, I'll catch you later. Hey Tommy, I just wanted to say thanks for everything. You were always a good friend........No I ain't gettin' all stupid, just wanted to say that..........Oh, cool. I'll catch you later.

Forth And Back.

So a few new guys have hired on down at The Dock, they started a couple months ago. What this means for me is this. They are all trained up now, so I get to work in the warehouse. I'm only out on The Dock sometimes, it's cold in the warehouse too, not as cold as it is out on The Dock. Well a bug is goin' around, so some guys are out sick, so I'm back out on The Dock this week. Last night a truck driver went to drop his trailer. He dropped his trailer. He forgot to lower the landing gear, those are the retractable legs that hold the trailer up when it's parked unhooked. The trailer was loaded, it's a fifty-three foot by eight and a half foot trailer. Probably weighed in at fifty thousand pounds, made a big bang when it fell. I had to get the big lift, biggest lift we have. It's a diesel, forks are ten feet long. I got the lift under the trailer, picked the front of the trailer up, the big diesel engine on the big lift just died. Now I'm stuck with the nose of the trailer up in the air, can't just get another piece of equipment and tow the lift over to the nice warm truck shop. The mechanic was about as happy with the situation as I was.

So I stay out on The Dock with the mechanic, we're tryin' to figure out what's going on. It's less than thirty degrees out, it's snowing a little bit and the wind is blowing. It sucked. We finally got a handle on things, turns out there was a short in one of the ignition wires. A mouse or maybe a rat must have got up in there and chewed it up, that's what it looked like in the dark anyway. So we get the lift runnin' and the mechanic starts laughing at me as I'm gettin' ready to sit the trailer back down. It seems that I also forgot to lower the landing gear, had to climb down and turn the crank on the side of the trailer. I cranked it all the way down, that truck driver will have to crank it again to lower it before he can hook back up. Normally I wouldn't do that. Normally I'd set the landing gear to the right height so the driver just has to back in under the fifth wheel, the jaws lock around the king pin and you're hooked up. Nope, he's going to have to get out and crank that trailer back down. Hey, I could have made things worse for him. I could have left it to low, then he'd have to crank it up. That's harder to do.

So I spent the rest of the night moving trucks around, droppin' and hookin' trailers. I was real careful to check the landing gear. Hey, it could happen to anyone.

This morning I had to take our younger daughter up to the high school. The kids in the gifted program have like an annual convention type thing up at the high school every year. All the gifted kids from all the elementary schools get together with their respective teachers and discuss, well, gifted things I guess. She was so excited, she spent a lot of time picking out her clothes. She has a presentation to make before the whole group, she wanted to look and feel her best. She even went to bed an hour earlier than usual last night. She did that on her own. Yeah, it's a big day for the smart kids today.

I built a go-kart when I was in metal shop in ninth grade. Had a Vespa Scooter motor on it. It was pretty fast, I wrecked it of course. That was the epitome of my academic career. Yeah, and I have two brilliant daughters. Those girls are proof that a higher power does exist. No way a knucklehead like me can claim responsibility for that. I have to do spell check now.

At The Bar.

Yeah so we went out last night. We never go out, we did last night. This girl my wife works with, her Bingo buddy, she had to put her dog to sleep on Friday. Her dog was twelve, they had a real history together. My wife's girlfriend, her kids are grown and live out west. She's fine with livin' alone, prefers it actually. She drove a bus in Cleveland for a few years, that dog chased away a prowler one night outside her apartment. She lives here now. She's going to miss that dog.

So she's got these neighbors and friends, they all decided not to leave her alone. The word went out and we all met at this cool little half a biker real blue collar joint. I've been there a few times, my wife and I went there once last year. It's a good place, older crowd, no punks. At least no punks that act like punks when they're in there. Fools are not suffered at this place. I like it, it's my kind of bar. They got a couple of ex-cons who can quickly remove any trouble makers, so it's safe and comfortable.

Yeah, so we all had a good time, had a few beers but no one got sloppy. Had lots of laughs, played that jukebox for all it was worth. They close at 0100, owner get's tired. So we all go to this other place that stays open until two. We all had one more beer, had a good time making fun of the idiot college kids out on the dance floor. No one was makin' fun of the kids who were really dancin'. Damn, some of those kids can dance. No, we were all makin' fun of the idiot wanna be "girls gone wild". You know the type, the chick wearing the halter top when it's thirty degrees out.

Yeah, a good time was had by all. Everyone decided that we should do it again but no one knew when. Who's got time for that? Everyone works, you know how that goes. We will do it again sometime, probably closer to the holidays when the plant shuts down for scheduled maintenance. I can just call in sick to the warehouse if I have to. Sometimes you have to do that. We had so much fun, it's good for us as a couple to go out and act like a couple sometimes.

Tommy, you would like this place. The first place, not the second place......Yeah, it's good to see her laugh like that.....Yeah, we did meet some cool people......Life is good my friend. Catch you later bro, I got some writing to do.....Yeah, I'll tell you about it some other time. Not much to tell just yet.....Cool, out.

Now I Feel Bad.

Things seemed to go pretty well, as far as the stress test went. First they shot me up with some dye and took pictures of my heart. Had to lay still for fourteen minutes with my left arm bent up over my head, they had to do it twice. So then I go over to another area where they hook me up to all these things. Nurse had to shave little round circles, like one and one half inch diameter circles at different locations on my chest and stomach. It looks pretty stupid, like I got attacked by a giant squid or something. Speaking of stupid, I just spelled "look" with two K's.

So as far as me bein' all ticked off yesterday at like 0600 when I wrote the previous post, the one about no coffee. Yeah, as far that goes, now I'm feelin' like a jerk. That happens to me sometimes. Of course every person there, at the hospital that is, could not have been nicer. The cardiologist who ordered all these tests was there too. The staff, from the radiological people to the nurses and the doctor were squared away, professional, kind and understanding. It made me feel even worse, knowing what I had been thinkin' about'em all just an hour earlier.

So when I left the hospital I hear Al Green on the radio. Man, don't you just love Al Green? Talk about puttin' a smile on your face. Al Green, yeah he can put a smile on your face.

Hey Tommy....Yeah, so I smoked that friggin' tread mill test but good.......That's right bro, those medics were tellin' me they had to get my heart rate up to at least 150. They had to tilt that thing all the way up and have me almost runnin' to get it there.......Yeah, the wires were fallin' off me, they were hookin'em back up while I just kept movin'........That's right man, they were apologizing to me, sayin' it don't normally take that long to get your heart rate up to 150. I ask'em do they want I should do some push-ups?.......Yeah, my BP was 110/70 at the start, like always. The highest it got, when they finally got my heart rate up to 151, the highest my BP got was 122/84.........Yeah bro that's right, I still got it.....Dude, you should have seen that doctor's face man. Guess he's more used to older patients......Yeah, this one nurse, the one who shaved me, she noticed the ink when she was shaving me. She asked me about the army, I didn't tell her much, just that I was in once. So after the test, and I'm not even breathin' hard, she asked me if we ran a lot in the army. I just said yes..........Yeah that's right man........Yeah, you remember that hill?.......Yeah, that old lifer was right when he said that.........You ain't kiddin' Tommy........Yeah, I got stuff to do too........I go back to the cardiologist on 04 December at like 1230 hours......Yeah, he's goin' to give me the skinny on all these test results then......Well he said he's goin' on vacation so he'll see me when he gets back......Yeah I did ask him. He said no, it's nothin' to worry about. He said if he thought there was some kind of problem then he wouldn't be waitin' 'til then, he'd be seein' me right away, before he goes on vacation......Yeah, that's what I figure. Or, the friggin' EKG machine was broken to start with......Cool, catch you later bro.

NO COFFEE!

Was up at 0500, had to get in the shower before the girls start moving. Try finding ten minutes for a shower in a house full of girls. I'm not allowed to have any food, nothing to drink prior to this stress test I have to take. I'll be leaving in about a half hour. NO COFFEE! I guess that's part of the stress test. Hospital staff better be nice to me. I'm wearing a sign around my neck that says;

"DANGER, HAVE HAD NO COFFEE YET"

Stress test my ass. Friggin' doctors suck. They take all the fun out of life. When I'm really old I'm goin' to pretend I'm senile, crazy as hell. Every chance I get I'm goin' to punch a doctor in the face, pretend like I don't what I'm doing. I'll be senile and crazy as hell, what do they expect from a crazy old man? Yeah, that will be fun. Get me some payback......... NO COFFEE!...................
Assholes.

Step Up?

That's what the Parrot says when he wants to come out and sit on his perch, stuff his face and listen to music. Can't take him out right now. I have to pick my daughter at three, the older baby girl gets a ride home with her friends. I have to be at the cardiologist's office for a scheduled Echo-Gram at 1530 hours. It's only supposed to take fifteen minutes, we shall see. I'll probably be a little late gettin' to The Dock, supposed to start at four. It's no big deal if I'm a little late, I'm never late. Hell, other than the few days I missed two weeks ago, when I fell, I've only even missed one day since I've been working there.

So, goin' to find out just what the hell is goin' on with my ticker. I'm bettin' it's nothing at all. I'm bettin' that this whole thing is just a big waste of time and the insurance company's money. Why does it keep bothering so much?

I started my next book, layed down ten pages, deleted a bunch of stuff then filled in the blanks. Ended up with about seven pages so far. I've kind hit my stride, usually happens when I write. Starts out one way then changes. Now that I've hit my stride, won't be long before I'm in my groove. When I'm writing, and I'm in my groove, it just sails. This blog is good, helps me focus. I'm going to start blogging about things that I don't want to end up in the book. Always a danger, for me anyway. Always a danger that current events, modes of thought might creep into my writing and contaminate it, take it away from where it's supposed to go.

Hey Tommy. Not much time today bro........Yup, friggin' doctors suck man........Yeah, I'll let you know......Hey, I heard some Elvis on the radio before, made me think about you and that time......Yeah, yup.........That's right, and there you were up on the stage behind the bar singin' Elvis to that dancer.........Yeah, I think you got more dollars thrown your way than she did........Yeah, that was funny.......Okay, I will. Catch you later bro.

Gets Dark Early Now.

Sunday Evening:

Spring Ahead, Fall Back. We fell back a couple weeks ago. Just ran out to the store, had to get smokes. She's sleeping right now, goes in at midnight. I have to hang the attic door when she wakes up in about three hours. I can't do it now, attic door is right across from our room. One nice thing about early darkness, it helps her sleep better. I removed the slide out shelf thing from the one kitchen cabinet, she hates that slide out shelf thing. It's a tall narrow cabinet, has lots'a room inside, without that stupid slide out shelf thing. She asked me about removing it several weeks ago. Me bein' me, and procrastination bein' procrastination, well........Anyway, I took care of it this afternoon.

I have to go for now, just remembered something else she asked me to do a couple of days ago. I'm going to do it now, avoid that avoidance thing. That thing we call,...... procrastination....... Man, I hate that friggin' word....Yeah, so it's like ten after six ECSH. East Coast Squarehead time. Be back later.

So now it's Monday. She had a rough night at work, real busy. We talked some when she got home, after I took the little one to school. She's not that little anymore, she'll always be my little one. My wife is sleeping now, doin' my best to keep things quiet. The little one, she had a project due today. I helped her finish it on Saturday. She did all the work, I just helped her with some ideas. That made me feel good, bein' able to help.

I have to start writing again, for real. I mean blogging is writing, but. Well I have an idea that's been brewin' in the back of my brain for some time. I've been waiting for it to all come together, I know it won't, until I start writing it down. Wish I had more time to write. I'll start tonight after work, it will cut into my blog time. Oh well, it happens. Never enough time, same old.

11-11

So it's Veteran's Day, it's raining. My wife and younger daughter are out and about, groceries and stuff. Both girls went and got haircuts yesterday. My wife gave them a little extra cash so they could go to the Chinese buffet after the salon. They had a nice time. I went to the cardiologist at 1230 hours yesterday. Hooked up to two different machines that beeped and squeaked. My BP was 110/70, like always. Doctor says I have LVH. That's Left Ventricle....something, I can't remember. He says it's probably no big deal. He says I have to go back on Wednesday for the Echocardiogram, they just call it an Echo. Yeah, so then next Friday I have to report to the hospital at 0730 for a stress test. Doctor says it's no big deal. I'm not sure about that being "no big deal". Doctor says the LVH could be caused by a couple of different things. He said no more salt.

So when I'm in the examining room this old doctor comments on some of the old scars I've got, he says something about all the old faded blue ink I got. He says, with his cool foreign accent, that it looks like I've been a bad boy. I know it sounds strange but he has this accent so it didn't sound strange if you heard it in person. So later on I'm thinkin' to myself. I'm thinkin' maybe my hearts been damaged by all that stuff they shot us up with for Desert Storm.

Had to take a break. They got back from the store, had to help carry groceries in, put it all away. we were all hangin' out in the kitchen, all four of us and the two dogs. She's cookin' a bunch of stuff for the week ahead. The Parrot is out on his perch, groovin' to the oldies station, singin' up a storm. My wife is painting the attic door, she's just five feet away from me with the door on the horses. I got the hinges drying in the basement. We paint the old hinges so the doors hang properly when finished.

So like I was sayin', I'm thinkin' to myself. I'm thinkin' how the VA keeps cutting benefits for vets. I'm thinkin' about that Marine I met in a bar shortly after returning from active duty in '91. I was on my old shovel, had my issue desert boots on. He's walkin' into the bar behind me. I hear him say "nice boots". I turn around and he's wearin'em too. So we sank a few beers together, shot some pool. A few months later he's tellin' me how he's been bleeding from his backside. He says the VA tells him it's not their problem.

So right now I'm thinkin'. I'm thinkin' 'bout my buddy in Missouri who's gums were bleeding for no reason. The VA tells him it's not their problem. I'm thinkin' about all the people who served over there back then, all the problems a lot of them have reported. I'm thinkin' how the VA recently decided that there is no such thing as Gulf War Syndrome. I'm thinkin' about these people serving now. I'm wondering what the VA will tell them in a few years. I suspect the VA will say that it's not their problem.

I'm thinkin' about this older guy I work with, I've mentioned him before. Sometimes we ride to and from work together. He told me how he was an accomplished athlete in high school. He injured his knee playing football senior year. That injury cost him a shot at a college football scholarship. He said the draft board didn't mind, he was healthy enough for them.

Hey Tommy...... Yeah I'm bitchin' again.......I know you do. Hey, enjoy this Veteran's Day bro. This is your day......Yeah, I'll keep that in mind my friend. I gotta run, lots to do today.....Yeah maybe that too.....Hey, you never know.......I will, you too.

Back On The Dock.

Been busy, went to the doctor on Monday morning, returned to work Monday afternoon. Still sore, taking it easy. It's good to be back at work. Had enough time off, feel better just getting back to work. They have this stupid rule, have to be out fourteen calendar days in order for Worker's Compensation to kick in. Now that's just stupid, just encourages people to stay out longer than needed. I won't get paid for the thirty-eight hours I missed last week, that stinks. The alternative stinks too. I would have had to lie to the doctor, pretend I was in worse shape just to get paid for the time I missed due to an accident that happened at work. I don't want to do that. Maybe I'm the stupid one, but I can look at myself in the mirror. If the company chooses not to pay me, that's their problem. My wife is all for it. Yes it's going to be a tight month because of it, but we are not going to play those kind of games. We don't have a lot, but we do have our self respect. That's more than the insurance company can say.

So yesterday we voted, then went to the community center to see our younger daughter sing with her class at a Veteran's Day event. It was a good day. All the old guys from the Legion and the VFW were sitting right up front while the kids sang. One group sang "This Land Is Your Land", they got a standing ovation. Our daughters class sang all of the service songs. Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine Corp and the Coast Guard songs. When they were done, they sang the song that brought tears to my eyes, and to the eyes of all the old guys sitting up front. They sang "Let There Be Peace On Earth". It doesn't get any better than that. At one point during the show, an old retired Army Chief Warrant Officer read a prayer from the podium, his hands were shaking. You could have heard a pin drop in that auditorium. Then he asked all the parents who were vets to stand. I didn't want to stand, but when I saw how many people stood up I stood too. This group of fourth graders held up a sign that said "THANKS" in red white and blue sparkly letters. It was nice. I'm glad I don't have sons of military age. This guy I work with, his eighteen year old boy just enlisted, this guy I work with is upset.

Hey Tommy, I was thinkin' 'bout you yesterday............Yeah bro, I was thinkin' 'bout everybody yesterday........You should have seen that show, these kids were great man.......Yeah, and that song. "Let There Be Peace On Earth", it was nice to hear those kids singing that song.......Yeah it is about time........I bet you're right bro, I bet some idiot out there will think that song helps the terrorists win........Yup, so true. Idiots like that never do serve, they just like to run their mouths and send others to do it for them............I will Tommy. Hey I gotta run, I'm back at work this week......Yeah I'm done slackin'...........Oh yeah, the cardiologist thing is on Friday at 1230hrs., the appointment got changed........I will let you know. Hey Tommy, maybe you could talk to somebody, pull a few strings or something........Yeah, I think those kids should have their wish granted. "Let There Be Peace On Earth".

0300: Operation Rolling Rock.

So she just left to run down to the corner market. It's open 24-7. She's makin' a cheese cake 'cause our older daughter is eighteen today, that's her favorite. She works third shift so this is the middle of the day for her. I just pre-heated the oven, got a frozen box of wings to throw in. Finishing up my second bottle of Rolling Rock, still don't know what the "33" stands for. It's sad that the Anheuser-Busch people recently bought the Rolling Rock brewery, just so they could shut it down and put hundreds of people out of work in Latrobe PA., assholes. Guess they don't make enough money sellin' Budweiser.

I have decided that I'm making too much out of this EKG thing. Did a little research, not an uncommon thing, a slightly irregular heartbeat. Hell, like I was sayin' before, my BP's 110/70. I way ten pounds more than I did when I left the army, I don't feel forty-four. I've got titanium rods, pins and screws in my spine. I've got a spinal cord stimulator unit implanted in my right cheek, yeah that cheek. That's all from when I almost died on the job back in '97, when I was a cop. They pumped twelve units of blood and plasma into me that time. I once wrapped a '73 Sportster around a Georgia pine tree on a red clay road goin' about seventy-five miles an hour.
I've jumped out of perfectly good aircraft. Been hit in the head with a bat, got scars that I don't even remember where they came from. Even with the broken back thing, I work on The Dock in a pretty physically demanding job. I am not about to let somethin' like an EKG get the best of me. I survived two Grateful Dead concerts................I will give up my skillet when they pry it from my cold dead fingers.

Yeah, so today my baby girl turns eighteen. She wants to be a doctor. She's a member of the National Honor Society, got 3.8 GPA all four years of high school. She's a senior this year. I've been her daddy since she was four. She's real pretty too, just like her mom and her baby sister.
She was at her boyfriend's house earlier. His dad came home from the hospital yesterday, Friday that is. He's doin' better since the accident. They had a welcome home party for him, the whole family was there. In the midst of all that, with the boyfriend's father home for the first time in a month, they made her a birthday cake. They really are good people. You should hear the boyfriend play the piano, he can play just about any instrument, piano's his favorite.

I'm going to open another Rolling Rock now, have a cigarette too. If I ever sell my book I'm going to buy me another old Harley, a nasty old shovelhead with straight pipes. Piss off the neighbors, try not to wrap it around any trees. That was a pretty good night though, I won fifty bucks shootin' pool that night. I'm not a great pool shooter, just got real lucky that night. Spent the fifty buying drinks for the guys I just won the money from. That was a long time ago, but on the inside, I'm still that guy. I'm so glad I'm not a cop anymore, I'm like a regular person again. When our younger daughter turns eighteen, that will be in seven years, I'm smokin' me a big fat joint. There will be much rejoicing.

Tommy, yeah she just got back with the groceries man. Allman Brothers on the kitchen radio......Yeah, she is smokin' hot.......Hey, that's my wife.........I know you don't......yeah bro, I gotta run man. Catch you later.

Farewell Sweet Skillet.....

Looks like I won't be returning to work for another week. I know I won't be healed up all the way by this coming Monday, oh well. Thinking a lot about this cardiologist thing, have an appointment scheduled for Tuesday afternoon. Still don't have an appointment for the Echocardiogram, have to call and check on that.

So last night she leaves for work at like 11:40, I take the dogs out for the last time. Break out the old cast iron skillet, a can of corn beef hash, some Virginia ham from the deli and four eggs. It's a lot I know. I cover the corn beef hash in shredded cheddar cheese after it sizzles for awhile. I push it over to one side and pile the ham on top after that sizzled for awhile. Four eggs over easy, slide it all out onto the plate with some ketchup on the side. I really don't eat like that very often. I'm afraid that once this cardiologist gets a hold of me I'll never be able to eat like that again. I love my big old cast iron skillet, got it seasoned real nice, lightly oil it after every washing. I know I don't have any cholestorol issues, had that checked a few times over the last five years. Like I said, B.P.'s always in the healthy range (except for those couple of years when I gained all that weight) and heart attack issues have never been a factor in my family tree.

So the doctor's office just called me back, I have another appointment on Monday morning at 0900. I'll find out about returning to work. This sucks. Doctors, can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em............. Sometimes.

I don't want to write about this crap. Tried writing some other stuff in my dog eared old Marble Composition Book, it ain't happening.

Tuesday is election day, I'm voting, hope everyone else votes too. Got the weekend coming up here. Weekends sure ain't what they once were. She's going to Bingo with the girls from work, that's tonight. I'm going to ask the girls if I can have the living room to myself tonight, they got a TV upstairs. I really need to shut down for awhile, couch it with the clicker. Maybe some brain numbing TV is what I need.

I think I need to accept the fact that my relationship with that old cast iron skillet is changing. I'm not going to lose my skillet, but.......... We will never look at each other the same way again. Something has changed between us. It's not what the skillet and I said to each other, no it's not that at all. I mean last night the skillet sang the sizzling song of goodness just like always, I heard that song through different ears. I guess it's time to move on. I'm going to have to look elsewhere, I'm going to have to connect on a deeper level with the Lean Mean Grillin' Machine that sits on top of the cabinet. I hope the skillet understands, I need to do this for me. The skillet, like a first love will always have a special place in my heart.

(Get it? In my heart? I crack myself up sometimes.)

It's not yet time to talk about sausage and brats. I need to face these issues one at a time. I will always have hot sauce. I must confess, like Simon&Garfunkle's Boxer, "...there were times when I took some comfort there......"

E.R...and then some.

Yeah, so like I was sayin' the other day. I took a spill at work on Friday. Figured I was okay, 'til I woke up Saturday morning. Hot shower and I felt better. Saturday night, she takes me up to the E.R., just in case. Contusions on the ribs, stiff and sore as hell. Hurts when I cough, laugh, breathe. Not much they can do for busted ribs, gave me pain killers. I take it easy on Sunday, back to work Monday afternoon, only lasted two hours. So yesterday I call the boss, he tells me take the rest of the week, says "See you on Monday". She has me make a follow up visit with our doctor, just got back from that. It sucked. I'm going outside for a Coke and a smoke, finish this up when I get back.

Worker's Comp. Insurance pays for the E.R. visit, today's visit went on our own private insurance 'cause it's not really comp. related. When we went to the E.R. last Saturday night, this young E.R. doctor runs an EKG, he says just in case because I had pain in my chest. Of course I had pain in my chest, I busted a couple of ribs. Anyway, he just wants to make sure. I'm thinkin' he wants to play with the EKG machine, what the hell, I ain't payin' for it. So the EKG shows an abnormality, oh great. The young E.R. doctor, now he draws some blood, just to make sure. Blood work comes back, it's fine. So I leave with my pain killers, a prescription for more and one of those instruction sheets that you never look at anyway. So today I go to the doctor's office, they have a guy there who's like the guru of EKG's. He figures the abnormality is just that, but he wants to make sure. It could be that one side of my heart is bigger than the other, caused by high blood pressure. I did have high blood pressure once, years ago. When I got hurt real bad, when I was a cop, I gained a lot of weight just sittin' around doing nothing. I was at two-fifty at one point, that was years ago. I've since lost all that weight, now I only weigh ten pounds more than I did when I left the army. When I was that fat, my blood pressure was high. Once I lost the weight my blood pressure dropped back down to around 110/70, that's where it's been for most of my life.

So now I have to go to a cardiologist, have another test done also. Echocardiogram, that's the test I have to have done. They told me that it's probably nothing to worry about. Yeah, I'll keep that in mind. Truth is, I'm really not worried about it, more annoyed than anything. Well then, I have to take the Parrot out of his cage before he starts screaming and wakes up my wife. She missed out on some good sleep yesterday, Halloween and all that. She was tired when she left for work at 11:30 last night, she could barely keep her eyes open when she got home at 8:15 this morning.

One good thing, I got to go out with the kids Trick or Treatin' last night. Yeah, we had a good time. Everybody was out despite the light rain. It was warmer than usual, kids made out like bandits of course. My wife and I carried the umbrellas and an empty carton of eggs, but that's another story. We couldn't find his car anyway, must have parked it somewhere else 'cause he knew we were up to something. Oh well, always next year.

Tommy, yeah bro........Yes I will keep you informed........Thanks asshole........Yeah, so?.......I know I said that to you once. I said it 'cause I was tired of listenin' to you bitch about a friggin' blister on your foot.......Yeah, and what was your reply? What did you say when I said that the blister means your'e gonna die?........That's right man, you said the same thing......Yes you did!........
"Thanks asshole" is exactly what you said......... Oh, so now it's funny. You didn't think it was so funny when I said it..........What do you mean it's different?.........Hey, don't make me laugh bro, my ribs hurt......Knock it off Tommy........Asshole.......